Puppet in a box...

Front cover of the book: “Jean-Paul Goude: So Far, so Goude” by Patrick Mauries

Edition Assouline, October 2005

Ok, I’m listening to “Takk”*…again…I know there are other records, other bands, but I cannot avoid choosing this record as the one to listen to now.

“Glosoli” just started playing and here I go.
Suddenly, I realized how thinking I was open to the outside, I had closed my self in my inside sphere. I was closed in a box, away from someone, from me…
I let myself be such a “Doll” sometimes…because I love…and I love to love and drown in the way I love because I give everything for the love I believe in swallowing me and others in it. And yes it’s you I love. bERTA _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ...and it's with you I would like to drown my self into and become one. Distance does not give me distance.

On the other side, I see people drowning in themselves. I see a dear friend of mine swallow himself in an autophagic manner and I can just silently scream in anger because I evolve such painful feelings....because I love him.
Yes, today I can say I’m sad…I’m sad because of some close relationships being swallowed for some superficial avoidance (I'm not talking about yOU). And my sphere roles…roles on bumps, but confident I made the right moves…even I feel so misunderstood sometimes, I know I did what my conscious is based on: honesty. I’m in a box but I can still move.

We all want more…what we have is never enough…but I try just to get more out of my self and give it to others, because I’m nothing without you and I know I’m little parts in everyone of you.

Love you,
I.M.H. ("Sê Lest"…“here I ear: “Uhh, I love you”)

P.S. – Can’t imagine how hard it is for me to maintain silence with you, but it’s not impossible. But respect for me means respect. My urge to write you a simple message becomes unbreathable, so I write it here. I listen to "Gong" and......................................................and it's our hidden moment.

* "Takk" is a record by Sigur Rós and the entire post was written, edited and published while listening to it. So all songs mentioned here are from that album. Thanks for reading.