Climbing up the walls...hey man(idiot), slow down!

Photo by I.M.H.

Picture handeling by "Time Fractions"

Hiding behind my fears of illusion-perfectionism…
The way I move around sometimes disappoints even my self…my fear to fail drags me nowhere, because I’m more willing to maintain nothing than to lose something. All these doubts take me nowhere even when I want what I shouldn’t get…but it’s what apparently I shouldn’t get that should tell me yes or no, it’s not my will…I puke towards my cowardness…the inside-out is apparently so clear while the inside in is so foggy.
Yes, I want you, and you too…
Yes, I want to taste you and smell you closer…
Yes, I want to unfocuss my sight because I’m looking too close at you…
Yes, I want to listen to you breath as my hand slowly travels across your skin…
Yes, I want so many of you, that I don’t know who I want, so I’ll hide behind my hand.

I’m at ease, “(…)calm, fitter, happier…babies smiling in back seat…keep in contact with old friends…favours more favours…at a better pace…no self employed...do not cry in public…still cries at ugly film…still kisses with saliva…like a cat tied to a stick that’s driven into frozen winter shit…calm, fitter, healthier, more productive. A pig in a cage on antibiotics.” - Parts from “Fitter Happier” performed by Radiohead on the album Ok Computer.

This is real cowardness, sorry for wasting your (and my) time. I’m just CLIMBING UP THE WALLS.
I.M.H.