Lights of dawn to fade out

The substance, the consequence…whatever that makes life seem more relevant or important…what is it really? You?...Me? Others? Things? I’m circling around nothing.
Everything and nothing at the same time…I’ve reached balance and complete physical tiredness. Am I on the edge of my physical exhaustion?...maybe not…
I doubt about what should move me and I never thought about what should keep me still. No movement is different of being still, but it’s not the same as being in movement…from a journey I started about a year ago, I found myself lost in others as in others I found my self…

I stepped out of the castle into the backyard gardens…it was dark and the breeze blowing in-between the leaves spooked the environment. I saw shadows of blinding white muses floating around. As I followed them around, they vanished or I couldn’t grab them because they were too high above my head…I simply petrified to their beauty and danced to the wind and the music sound-waves-leftovers banging from the castle…Oh, how I could endlessly look at all of you, but you all suddenly decided to evaporate, leaving me with a dream as the light of dawn fades away my perceptual illusions, erasing the breeze, the glitter and the shadows…erasing you.
So I should have grabbed it while it was still and now all this vanished. I’m left with what I had…or not? I gained a new world, a new image…a new you, even I am the same! I should have focussed more attention to what kept me still…instead of letting myself drawn in divagations of the movement.

I dedicate you all “How to disappear completely" performed by Radiohead in the album Kid A…“I’m not here! This isn’t happening” performed in this song listened while walking around the garden of an “Idioteque” castle. .

I.M.H.