Space v.s. No Space

Bagan Sunset, Burma, December 2006

Picture by I.M.H.

Silence…I’ve been absent from this space…nothing more than time…something that was very present in my past life but has been inexistent more recently…
Of course time is something we find even when we don’t want to look for it…but I had other forms of using it…even so I want to let everybody know that I’m not dead…even sometimes I wished I was…I wish I was no more imploding…no more mutating…no more hysteria…

So I was making space…creating space…creating a double space, for me and my other half…living life and praising what I was gaining…what we were gaining…I figth for what we believe in…I fight between ourselves…between our inner selves…
Can I see life as a fight club were in the end we are all friends but while we are fighting we want to win…
Today is not a great day to write…today is not the day…today is the day…I feel something is turning, I just don’t know when its going to stop spinning and where it will be pointing when the spinning stops…

As you can perceive, I’m still growing to leave the Imploding Mutant Hysterical asshole behind…there is still a path to walk…a long path that I doubt I will ever outgrow but I’ll do my best…

I.M.H.

I'm alive...

I'm aLIVE...
nOT iMPLOding...
MutaTING inTO the FUture...
nO hYSTERia...

I.M.H.

Communicate...or not...

An ode to communication or no communication to communicate?

…Is there an image, there is a message?…is there an intention without an act to accompany it, is there a message?...there is no sound, there is a message?...is it tasteless, is there a message?...THERE IS ALWAYS A MESSAGE but the absence of a concrete definition of it makes it more vague, increases the variability of possible interpretations.

Suddenly the world is flooded by messages…internet, sms, news, sub-news, scroll bar news, magazines, newspapers, online-newspapers, being online, mms, cell-phones, telephones, faxes, emails, mails, bills, banks, behaviours, people, cultures, theory, practice, publicity, feelings, photographs, outdoors, choices, no-choices, expectations…
EXPLODE into the choice of paranoia…pseudo-constant-active-wellness-culturally interested and actualized-responsible professional, physically and psychologically unstoppable urban, with rural notions, human being. Were is the place for oneself in all of this?…What do we need to become fulfilled? Of course all of us need different things or demand them, but do we demand them from ourselves or from the idea that society gives us of what such a person should be? Of course I do not have the answer. But both seem to play a role in it, since we are part of our inner sphere but also from all that influences us from the outside (society)…
The spheres role…my sphere roles…but I look around and feel I see stereotype robots of society…walkthrough serial merchandising TV, www and publicity mechanical persons. I see them behave as they are everything except themselves. Am I becoming such a person too? PLEASE DON’T LET ME OR I’LL IMPLODE INTO MUTATING HYSTERIA.
Communicate with yourself and with the outer-self and be YOURSELF.

I.M.H. “I am sorry, but I need to ask” - Thom York sings on the album The Eraser

Others...

Ovocniy Square, Prague, Czech Republic.

Picture by Srdjan Suki, taken from http://noticias.sapo.pt/foto.html?id=0

on the 3rd of June 2006 at 00h49m

So I’ve been very absent from the blog world…
Life has it’s flip top upper under left right, right to left turns in time…in space, that sometimes we freeze when we awaken from a sudden and unexpected tumble drier spin…
Another beer for the night ride…another moment broken by silence…by Ba Ba performed by Sigur Rós…and life, to get back on track (if it ever had a track to follow) should really go Ba Ba Ti Ki Di Do…
In the past weeks I lost, I lost, I gained and gained…in the past weeks a lot of people lost, a lot of people gained…maybe I grew older faster in the past weeks than in the past year…but what I realised is that there is still so much I want to grow towards…that I want to distance from…hat I want to develop…that I want to undo…I know what I search for…I believe, or make myself believe that I know how to reach it…but what I really know is shit. Never make yourself believe you know cause you don’t…someday your card castle may fall apart with a simple wind breeze, not mattering how large and solid you made the basement.
Listen to others and grow, even when they have nothing to say…
Try to walk in someone else’s shoes and feel how hard it is for them to fit…
Try to see through someone else’s eyes and you might need some time to adapt to the lightning…
We are nothing without others (whoever they might be)…

I.M.H.

Uma homenagem...

Uma pessoa....uma memória...uma alegria...um vazio...uma dor...há uma semana...

Questions...

I’ve been making some notes…ok, yes, I’ve been playing with the world of spheres, but at the same time, most of the ones close to me know that my world has been rocked by someone, the one I consider THE ONE.

First, I would like to redirect everyone to the site of a friend of mine http://me-global-nomad.blogspot.com and to the post of Wednesday, 17th of May 2006 (“Felizes os ignorantes”)…most of all, I appreciated the conversation that evolved in the comments section…

And, correct me if I’m wrong for misunderstanding this but I conclude the formula:
Survive equals the need for attention (so we can live), and by being attend we capture more knowledge, but this increase in knowledge tends us to be more aware of all the dangers…but the more dangers we are aware of, the bigger the worry…but all of this has to work in an homeostasis…a balanced surrounding…cause too much worry can lead to an unbalanced way of survival…
So this works all as a paradox of knowledge…the machine will never be able to fully understand itself, by studying its own self.
Will the complete understanding by the machine of its own way of working, delete all its existence expectations? Do we tend to the self destruction by knowledge? Or is there a basic protection mechanism that avoids us from fully understand the way we (biologically, psychologically and socially) work?
Ok, I agree that this questions do not refer to our increase of worries…but maybe it does, cause if we are as simple as I all shows we are supposed to be, most of us are stuck with an ego problem that means INSIGNIFICANCE and that worries a lot of persons! Or not!?

I.M.H.

P.S. – I always had this idea that the human being that suddenly would have the complete aware understanding of its self and its way and reason of existing, that it would self-destruct physically! I mean, the body would just stop functioning cause it had no more reason to live cause its main purpose of existing was destroyed: to understand why it exists!

...the moment...

Venice, taked on the 15th of May 2006 by me...

No words, just images...what I feel right now I don't want to publish here...It's too good to be shouted out loud...I shout it to the ones that want to read it...

Amo-te bERTA...tanto...